Hes not treating me too well and he always cuts me off when I want to explain my side. My sister in law is diagnosed with BPD. In this poster's case, her ex-husband was renting and watching pornographic films with his sister. Sister or not, she needs to stay in her lane, and out of your marriage. This can annoy you as you have to put selfies alone. Teach him to understand you. I respect my brother. We are trying to be better and we do love each other deeply. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Nonetheless, whatever her . Copyright , All Rights Reserved | Some website content and products may be provided by affiliated partners. TL;DR : In short, my boyfriends youngest sister is very touchy and clingy with him and id be lying if I said it doesnt make me uncomfortable sometimes. Hell, Ill be damned if Im in a relationship with someone, and married to them, and they are always choosing their sibling over me. Some families are really affectionate, but. All of these will be removed and locked. 1. Whose toys belonged to who? He's definitely doing that on purpose. I stood in the doorway to our family room after settling the kids in bed and said to my husband, "Have a minute?". I heard you talking on the couch'. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. No matter how much your husband is deeply connected with his sister, after marriage, there needs a call for some privacy. Recreating memories can consume any gap and misunderstanding that might have been forming in between. Plan a vacation or a staycation with your husband. Ive shared a few ways to achieve your desired objective. Login first Ive been married to my husband for 4 and a half years, and we have to kids. exactly what im thinking. Its because the two kinds of love are different. He will answer any question his sister asks. Do you want to have to fight for your husbands affection and love? I asked my husband for some time alone with him, but he said Never gonna happen. He speaks about all of our business to her and she makes sure that she lets me know about it. 9 Signs You Have Toxic Father. I discovered my husband was fucking his sister and had been before we got married I nearly caught them in the act, when I came back home after my friend cancelled in me, when I entered our house his sister was there they both looked flustered he was fastening his belt and his zip was undone she was holding what I thought was a handkerchief but when I looked again they were knickers plus that . This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. Noel Hendrickson / Getty. I think we all enjoy hearing, seeing, and feeling love and commitment. Im not Belzeebub, I am a pretty decent person who happens to have a serious mental illness. Reader Frustrated With Blabbermouth writes. She has always been involved in the family and does not have a boyfriend. So, married or not, he is not going to let his sister go. reader, Laura1318+, writes (28 April 2010): A Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. You want one thing and he doesn't. Required fields are marked *. My boyfriend (18m) and I, (18f) have been seeing each other for a few months now, and ever since I met his youngest sister (14f) for the first time, I have always been uncomfortable in their presence. . She is really only thinking of her own needs and not the needs of her son or her daughter-in-law for that matter. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Spending more time with his sister will help you understand their bond much better. Hi, I'm a new member and have registered in the hope of finding a better understanding and hopefully some peace regarding my intimate relationship with my half sister. Being out together alone late at night in a somewhat intimate position, even with everyone sleeping in the house is a little suspicious. If she wanted to lie to you she would say that he had sex with a random girl and cheated on you. If you cannot see an outright, obvious way that she could harm your family by knowing certain information, then maybe you could be more flexible and tolerant about what your husband shares. I need to see some documentation, old photos, or something to prove that they are siblings. He has no traces of calls or texts on his cell phone. My problem is that my husband and his sister are obsessed with each other so much so that I want to leave him because he allows her to act like his wife and she does things I dont approve of. Your email address will not be published. female One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. We my boyfriend, his sister . Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Maintain a journal and make him more conscious of the useless expenses he makes. Address it with him once and see how he responds. The "parent" partner typically nags, prods, controls, dictates, scolds, and makes most of the decisions. It sounds like your sister-in-law may be very protective of her brother and jealous of his relationship with you. You and your older sister are two completely different people. male If your boyfriend is the one doing the flirting with his female friends, then he's probably doing it on purpose. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach. Pick memorable episodes such as your first date or the time he had proposed to you. 12. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. They ultimately are inseparable. Defying laws and societal taboos, one couple shares their undeniable connection. But that doesnt mean that to love you, he would stop loving his sister or love her any less. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. (What?!). Yet, he doesnt acknowledge, or see anything wrong with their relationship. 2.You and your husband want a baby and he's jealous she's pregnant . But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. I mean, I've sat in that position with close friends or family. Plan it out meticulously, and he wont be able to help it but love you. It's dispiriting, to say the least. I was anxious, although I hadn't told him. male If you have a story or a query to share, write to us at toi.relationships@gmail.com.Don't hesitate as we do not mention names, 10 Sanjeev Kumar movies that redefine versatility, Stunning looks of BB Jodi's Vasanthi Krishnan, Flaunt your toned legs like Samantha Ruth Prabhu, Divas who shedded pregnancy weight in months, Most colourful festivals around the world, Love compatibility of each zodiac sign with Aquarius, Weekly love horoscope: June 27 to July 3, 2022, What the letters in your name from A to F mean, based on numerology, What it means if your name's initial starts with G to L. reader, ManAfterChrist+, writes (28 April 2010): A We had some drinks on his couch and were watching a movie snuggled up together. DEAR WONDERING: I dont think there is anything to be worried about. It may be uncomforting, and/or he may feel ashamed by showing affection to another woman. Legal troubles. She came in that Friday night and she has lots of friends where she lives. Question My husband and his brother were small children when their mother placed their newborn sister for adoption. Treat his sister as your own and love her all the same. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never denies any of her expenses while trying to monitor and keep your expenditure under control. This blog is not intended as medical advice or diagnosis and should in no way replace consultation with a medical professional. I met his parents and I got the impression that they were a tight knit family which I liked. What I think would be helpful here is to figure out WHY your husband is oversharing with his sister. This can be via expression or gestures or simply by making love. As it got closer to Thanksgiving . I feel he is disrespecting me and so is she and he is giving them permission to do so by not telling her that i dont want her dog in our home. The narcissistic mother is trying to cure her problems within herself by hanging onto and expecting emotional things from her adult son. 2023 Advance Local Media LLC. Indifference. Aint no way in hell a woman should be that damn close to her brother. Quickly. Samantha Rodman Whiten June 24, 2018. But, what is driving me too the divorce is the fact that I made an effort to take him out to be alone, and he had to invite her to where we were without telling me. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). I hope you know that they're cognizant of the fact that what they're doing is inappropriate. He should be one with you and share everything with you. reader, CindyCares+, writes (28 April 2010): A Honestly, Im rationalizing the reason he pushes you away from him is that it could because she may feel a certain type of way, or he may feel a way about it. She plays mind games with him by saying things like he doesnt have time for her now that his married. You and your husband havent decided on getting pregnant yet. This is when you step in and say, Look here, I know you both are special to one another, and yall are family and everything, but, err, uhm, this ish is going to cease with you telling them all of our business, and you cant show me any affection and love because they will get jealous. Am I? And to find out. She is his rock, and his shelter. That is really weird is there some context that could explain their closeness? How Long Can A Guy Go Without Talking To You? Order Dr. Whitens books, 52 Emails to Transform Your Marriage and How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family, and listen to The Dr. Psych Mom Show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to podcasts. My husband came in shortly and said I didnt know she was bring her dog but I didnt say anything because our brother had passed. If she had left her dog out side in his crate I would not have had a problem, but my husband allowed her bring him inside. Is their father in their life? DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? But, most of the time I ignore it because I feel its childish and I respect my husband too much, but he turns a blind eye. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. She has to act like wifey to make people think that. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. They slept in the same bed on a regular basis and that was normal for them. After everyone had left, I started to get ready for bed. Cook your hubby his favorite dish with aromatic flavors and make him fall for you all over again. Press J to jump to the feed. Am I? My Ex-Husband And I Were Good Friends But Bad Spouses. She also seems to have found a kindred spirit in his ex. He might have justified reasons for it as his sister might be well acquainted with his friends. He ticked most of the boxes and was well liked by my mum and friends. Best of luck, and if you want some reading on BPD, a good book isLoving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder (dont worry, Im not telling you to love her, but its a helpful book about dealing with those with BPD). It seems as though we can't do anything without him wanting her and her boyfriend to be there as well. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. They would crawl into bed with me in the mornings when I'd come to visit. Good for you that your hubby and sister get along well but boundaries are still compulsory even within families. I find the stigma and the misconceptions surrounding my diagnosis quite hurtful. Perhaps she had a bad day? It was embarrassing and hurtful. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): A For coaching with Dr. Whiten, go here. reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2013): A Now, its time to love you, and your children enough to walk away and save yourself. Share your opinions and thoughts below! Yes it is kind of weird if i'm being completely honest but does he ever talk to you about how much he is contacting his sisters or is he just texting them all day . Brother- Sister situationMy boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. Your email address will not be published. He says she doesnt have anyone to help her. If you are concerned that your grandson will see something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. male So if it happens with a random girl, it is very suspicious. There's a certain selfish, perhaps self-indulgent quality to this. Nidhi Behl Vats, Relationship expert & Founder of the story of souls: Every house has its own boundaries and level of openness amongst each other.You need to understand this. Sailor Moon. We have two boys, ages 2 years and 7 months. The answer is yes. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. Home Our homepage; Why Why choose us; Courses See our courses; Faculty Meet our Professors; Timetable Check our timetable; Admission How to enroll; Contact Contact us Either your husband has been harbouring love for your sister and he's devastated she's having a baby with someone else. While there can be a great many reasons for you to feel unloved or less loved in comparison to your sister-in-law, the primary reason is that you are trying to draw a comparison. Hes told you to leave, and hes had enough. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Ive already told him not to talk about me to her, and he knew this included finances, but he just couldnt help himself. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. You feel that your husband loves his sister more than you because he brings her up in every conversation. He is also at fault many times, but I try to understand that they have no parents and their family abandoned them. I'd definitely file this as weird. It's grossly inappropriate. AskMen Reader. In such cases, try to control your husbands finances. He's trying to make you jealous and you absolutely need to be worried because you have to ask him why he's doing this. At the end of the conversation she said something that stuck in my mind. Im also very worried about how my kids will deal with this. But to me there is such a thing as 'too close'. Social connections are key to emotional health. If she would walk into a room he would flood her with compliments on her choice of clothing. And if you're okay with coming in second (not including children), you . your husband will tell you everything you need to know either with his silence or his honesty. I tried really hard for 2 years to understand them, but I just don't get them. Therefore, yes, it is weird. Now I have a brother. It concerns only the two of you. 3.Your husband is the father of your sisters baby." However, someone else suggested the boyfriend may have tokophobia - the fear of pregnancy. I backed out of the bedroom and walked back into the kitchen where Jack was cleaning up and I told him that Melinda was in his bed. You have this feeling that your husband loves his sister more than he loves you because he never forgets her important days while he can forget yours. At the last family dinner, he was playing footsies with her under the table. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. or even where to eat dinner. Wait to see if it continues. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. It wasnt long before I was then introduced to his sister, Melinda.*. He wants people to think he is better than they are, and that includes you - especially you. Although not every guy will get along with his family all the time, if he respects them its a good sign. Nobody wants to be made fun of. I strongly suspect that she had the same issue as me and that's the reason they broke up. The problem is my boyfriend's relationship with his only sibling, a sister. Get confessions in your inbox. How can I not bring it up? We had agreed that I would have the kids. You both will get relaxing time to spend together. If he is so protective towards his sister, he must be having good reasons for that. Your SIL has BPD but that doesnt make her a bad or evil person. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement, and Your Privacy Choices and Rights (each updated 1/26/2023). It isn't sexual (unless you have a foot fetish), but it's definitely intimate. (I foresee spending the rest of my life with him, awww ok). Melinda was nice to me and they seemed quite close. 2. If he doesnt want to take you up on your offer, then its time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. I started to notice that 9 out of 10 times we went out, Melinda would be there. When she comes to visit she brings . About. This might give hints to her and try to work on her habit. I planned on going to my sister's house for Thanksgiving dinner as I had always done before. To make any relationship work, emotional support is needed. Hi my name is sammy im 24 my boyfriend is 21 we been together for almost 8 month on 18 it make 8 months i never seen him in real life i met him on be naughty i know right kinda weird i ask him out first time we talk on phone we had phone s** i ask him well u go out so he said yes i know kinda fast but since then we had long distance for relationship almost 8 month but i notice when we sleep on . The problem isn't your job. She would stare at us when we were snuggled up. However, love is too pure an emotion to stand alone. You need to work on loving each other more, and everything will fall in place automatically. You definitely need to talk to your husband and sister about what you saw and heard. One cannot help loving them if one has known them for sometime. So, by saying this you are not sounding offensive. I woke up, it was late, and my husband wasn't in bed. Be candid with him. Now His Family Hates Me.". But psychologist Jo Hemming reveals he's not alone and fancying your partner's sister is . You dont want to break into a fight with him. Welcome to r/relationship_advice. My Husband And His Sister. This might be so because your personal life involves him and you are directly related to him. She said that my only competition with Jack was Melinda. My husband and sister are very close. However, first, observe whether he asks to click those selfies or she. It is in no way discounts your bearing. Again, this might be so because he is used to asking her opinion. Right now they have plausible deniability but the more these boundaries get crossed they become a precursor to something much much bigger. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Lol imagine if they're always like that and you moved out together and his sister still comes over to cuddle up to him. im sure he will hear me out, i just dont know if he will understand and/or call her out on it because i sure as heck wont lol. My husband says Im overreacting. There were loads of pictures of them together around the house which I thought was really sweet. You overthink and over assume things in the process. My husband and sister in law on the other hand do. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. Its time to create an action plan, and get to moving. I was tired so after dinner I decided to lay down. Theyve had no one else but each other, so unfortunately they have made each other dependent on one another. But, whats more disturbing is that he pushes you away from him when she enters the room. Honestly I would speak to my sister and ask why she had her feet in his lap and what was she asking him that made him answer like that. male The feet in the lap shows a a high level of complicity. I went back in our room at that point and I've been reeling ever since. Yes, he does return this type of affection, just not to the same extent id say. I am not jealous, I know what jealousy feels like, this is genuine discomfort and confusion. female It may be because you two have different taste in styles, and your husband might like his sisters style more contemporary than yours. By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 9. Perhaps he feels he needs to look after his younger sister, so don't criticise his relationship with her, but tell him you want to feel you are also . DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. DEAR ABBY: I dont know how to handle this. Relationships are founded on love. Same thing happened with a former roommate of mine.

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