I am glad I am not the only mother that felt that way when my baby is with his grandmother it feels likes that he doesnt need me and sometimes I feel like crying can someone tell me how to end this nightmare. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. I have read all of the posts and it is kind of a double edge sword to say that I am glad that other people are or have gone through the same things that I am going through. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. Who would have thought that a tiny little mite like her could devestate me. I feel bad for the child. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . This is NOT just a phase. A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. I know he is only 9 months but shouldnt 9 month old babies already recognise their mothers? This phenomenon of opting out is actually not widespread. And since then, everytimes she sees my friend, she follows her instead of me. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. I wonder why this isnt written about or talked about more widely. Speak with Your Boss. bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. There are a few things you should have on your list during the discussion: They fidget a lot or hate getting messy. I think there are several aspects to this. Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. Im a teacher so am home most days quite early so do see a lot of her. In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. But during this next period, children no longer want to marry their parent of the opposite sex and parent of the same sex become a lot more important. But they arent helping your relationship with your child. Tomorrow I am going back to work full time after taking 4 months off to be with my son. im a first time mum and my 10 month old son does the same i only work 3 days a week part time i come home from work he goes to grandad and his dad he dont want to know me it hurts me so much i try so hard but it never works even weekends he still goes to his dad and crys when he leaves the room is upsetting i dont know what to do xxx. How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? you. I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. Thanks for taking the time to read, Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. To all those beautiful mummies and daddies who have shared their heart with us, you are so not alone, I have had pnd anxiety since my little man was about 2 months old and I used to feel this way so much that it broke my spirit and heart. Take your baby for a casual walk. I'm very upset that she is rejecting the bottle. Adjusting to this new life will take time and you can't expect to nail it right out of the gate. I cant imagine how hard it must be to have lived with this with your daughter for years. I would lay down my life for my son without hesitation. . Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. there babys there used to those that give them there needs and time and attention Im going on my 3rd baby and what i find affective is how the care provider response when you get there Im always excited and hug and kiss daddy when he is home and thats how my children respond they love daddy but when they want or need something its always mommy and believe me some time i want it to be daddy, MY YEAR OLD DAUGHTER PREFERS ANYONE BUT ME, EVEN THO I BREAST FEED, AND DO EVERYTHING FOR HER IN GENERAL, I TRY NO TO SPOIL HER BECAUSE SHE IS THE ONLY DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, NICE AND SO ON I NEVER HAD A POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION SO IT CANT BE THATIM LAID OFF SO IM WITH HER 24/7 NO ONE HAS EVER BABY SET HER I DONT HAVE MY PARENTS NEAR OR ANY FAMILY, BUT MY HUSBAND FAMILY COME OVER AROUND TWICE A WEEK I ALWAYS WANTED HER TO BE OPEN WITH PEOPLE AND NOT TO BE SHY SO I THAGTH HER TO LOVE EVERY ONE ESPECIALLY HER GRANDMOTHER BUT NOW I THINK I DID MISTAKE WITH THAT BECAUSE IT SEEMS THAT SHE DOESNT LOVE ME ANY MORE :( IS DEPRESSING ME NOW PLEASE HELP ME..IAM OPEN TO ANY ADVICES THANK YOU. In most cases, mothers return to work as soon as their child is about 5-6 years old. From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) But the best thing you can do is to NOT take it personal. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. I couldnt find any info about it happening to any other mothers at the time, I bf and did everything for her, perfect housewife and mother but she still was so hurtful to me. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. But sometimes it seems like I dont even compare to Grandma!! Here are five ways you can get ready to go back to work. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. But i continued being there for her. Please hang in there mommies and daddies. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. its hard to be a parent but it is very important. Also if I am holding him and she walks by, he struggles to get away from me. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. I strongly recommend you to get it! I recently read a study about the massive positive effects of just spending 15 minutes with a child every day 15 minutes with 100% focus on the child. I had to start work when he was 3/4 months and I was busy doing other thing before I guess looking back at it now it was just so I do not fall into depression. I feel like shes afraid that everytime I pick her up Im taking her to do something she doesnt like or finds unpleasant. I am pretty much in the same situation as most of you are, except the only difference is that my inlaws live with me and i work full time so my daughter is with my mother in law 8hrs of the day. All she needs is her grandparents or father. This hurts so much that I cant help but cry. I had to go back to work part time at 6weeks, but have been 100% available and loving and devoted every second I have free. Try the sleep and switch. Its got to a point where I feel like everything is against me. I have returned to work since and he always cry when I carry him? Have someone other than mom do the feeding 2. :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! Ive loved him madly ever since and do everything for him. I have been with my 4 month old since birth and she recently started to stop laughing at me or anything I do and I try so hard. I just want to know what I am doing wrong, so I can change it. I used to have a very tight relationship with my parents. Even if its only by God and me I suppose. It is so important that you separate this! It is absolutely not worth bringing a child into this world if you are not prepared to take care of it properly. It breaks my heart that my daughter doesnt want anything to do with me. So am just going to take every day as it comes I like the advice about spending quality time 5/10/15 min with my boy. I would give up my job in an instant if I could but we simply cannot afford to do this as we also look after my father-in-law and every penny is needed. I kind of gave up trying to figure it out, and just really tried to just remain bright and happy and easy going. I have a 7 month daugher that doesnt seen to want me. If there is anything I can do to change this me let me know?I love my son so much I dont know what I did to him for him to start this. And even being so young, she can sense your tension, which might make her slightly stressed, if that is how you feel. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. Please help! This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. And when I get her home she ignores me. It really hurts. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). Hi I have a grandson 22 months old which I adore and see him most days. :) :) :). If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. If I hold him, he wriggles and cries to get away. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. hi my baby is 5 months old and still now she hasnt recognized me. Please help!!!!! And if there is any way at all that you can get longer periods at home during this sensitive period, consider asking for it. To start, focus on playing and engaging with him in a fun, even nonsensical way. So they want to carried around the clock, wont play by themselves, cant be handed over to anyone else but mom or possibly dad without screaming like there was no tomorrow. I dont want this to have any lasting affects on our long term relationship. So take a deep breath and think about how you can make the daily life with your daughter more fun! Hang in there! I work full time and travel quite a bit during the summer, up to a week at a time. by Margaret e Jacobsen. You know, we have to accept it, applaud their development and let them go. That is wonderful for your little daughter! Its just that when my husband and i decided to start trying for another baby i quickly had changed my mind and decided i wasnt ready yet and that i was content with it just being me, my husband, and our first son, but it was too late and when i decided to not try anymore i already conceived. Ive struggled with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidality, anger and low self-esteem my entire life. Thanks for everyones honesty as a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and Im going to try really hard not to take it personally from today on! If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. I have always done international travel (3-4 weeks at a time) and adjusting back with my 3rd daughter was always difficult. This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. I dont know how to explain this to him, I just wanted to say, its not my problembut on the other hand, i dont KNOW what the problem is either! I feel robbed of the moments that I didnt get to enjoy with him, she pushed to give him his first bath and has done so much as she says she is helping. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. I hope you find a way make this all work out without hate and anger. The "opt out" revolution of high-earning women exiting the labor force to have babies, widely publicized in the early 2000s, may have been overstated. If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. Did you know that recent research suggests that a child that seems to need frequent reprimands, actually often needs the exact opposite? The short answer to that question is, thankfully, no. Especially living in India just because the Home Office is not convinced I?m married and have a son. No phone, no computer, no cleaning, cooking, working, or thinking about other things. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. When she was 5 months old, daddy came back.the moment she saw my husband at the door was a funny one. That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. And since you have been at home with him, youre not very exciting. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. Try movement like rocking 4. And yes, I think that would be great for many reasons. I work 4 full days a week and am with him without fail 24/7 the other 3. I wrote on this post several months ago, when my son was 9 months old. My mother says she must feel secure with me and to be happy she has such a good relationship with her fatherand I am. Trust me, I feel it too now and then and husband even more, who has been the one NOT chosen especially by our youngest. Of course we can go the road of power struggles, but it wont help. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. I guess what really hurts my feelings is that when she is home is her dad and then I come home, she could care less. It will happen, if your baby is bonding with others s/he will bond with you. Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. So the estrangement between the two of you became mutual. When I am in the US, I try to work from home on most days so I can spend time with my children. Here is the background: Ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year but knew him and his daughter since she was 8 months. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. for a couple of hours, she just hugged me while eyeing him and after accepting the fact that daddy was really there in person, she just went 2 daddy like he never left. I am so confused and sad. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. I am a stay at home mom, I give her stimulation when she wants it by giving her tummy time or playtime with me or her bouncy. I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. 11. Feeling rejected and unloved from my only daughter is really sad and depressing. The last thing I want is for her to get older and call me mom when she sees me (even in public areas were if Im with her and she calls me mom everyone will look at me funny!). even when am not with her she plays with her grand mother or even neighbors. I can understand that your sons behavior is making you sad. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. Maybe the others can go out for a while during the weekends and you just stay at home and spend time together. But she adores my husband (and he hardly spends any time with her at all). By preparing during maternity leave, you can feel more empowered in your choice and ensure a smooth transition for you and your baby. 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